The Truth About Two

I'll admit it, the process of having a second baby was a much more stressful, and in ways less enjoyable than the first. When we became pregnant with Emily, it was almost pure joy. Sure, I worried about the baby. Would she come out normal? Would I be a good mom? How would I handle being a parent and working outside the home? But for the most part, the worries were few, and the happiness was plentiful. When we decided to have a second, there were many more worries. We were having such a good time with Emily, how would another child affect her? Would she be jealous? Hate the new baby? Could we POSSIBLY love another baby as much as we loved Emily? How could we? My heart would almost burst with love whenever I looked at her. This miracle of such intense, pure love could not feasibly happen twice. Not only that, we were having a boy. A BOY. What on earth would I do with a BOY? I always pictured myself having all girls. With Adam, there were a whole new set of worries to consider, and I fretted much more than I had with Em. I will even admit this...when I was leaving for work the morning of Adam's birth, I actually burst into tears. I wasn't ready for another baby yet! I wanted more time to enjoy my sweet Emily, have her all to myself, and not have to share myself with another child. I actually thought, "Oh no! What have we done!"

Then, approximately eight hours later, my baby boy came into the world, and I had an experience I did not have straight away when Emily was born. I fell instantly in love. With Emily, the whole experience of having a newborn was wonderful, but also the most stressful thing I had ever experienced, and it took a little while for the really intense love to blossom. With Adam, it was literally love at first sight. I couldn't believe it. I really COULD love another child as much as I loved Emily. Everyone told me that no matter how wonderful your first child was, you would love the second (and third, and fourth...) just as much, although maybe differently. It took the actual birth of my second child for me to really see how this could be true. We have had our challenges of course. Adam is not the same baby that Emily was, and it takes a while to learn all about the new one, their personality, their likes and dislikes, and how to fit them into the family. In some ways, I feel a little bad for Adam in that he does not get near the same one-on-one attention that Emily received as a newborn. How could he, we already have a two year old running around to care for! However, he does have the experience of an extremely entertaining big sister to watch, which he does almost constantly, and really seems to enjoy her. For Emily's part, she loves to "mother" baby Adam, and is always bringing him toys, blankets, pacifiers (even though he hates them!), and insisting on particularities of his care ("Hey momma, pick baby Adam up!", "Hey momma, I think baby Adam needs a new diaper!", "Hey momma, bring baby Adam a blanket!"). They study each other with such intensity. Amazingly, they already seem to love each other. Just as amazingly, my capacity to love seems to grow as my family does. And that's the truth about having two.